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Nastavi, Calliope

by BABEHOVEN

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1.
Bad Week 03:53
It’s hard to talk about it being a bad week When it’s been a bad week For a long time now And it doesn't seem to get better And if it’s so hard then why should I keep going It shouldn’t sound as sad as it does But it’s just sad to say It’s been a bad week for so many weeks now And I see the positives But it’s just so hard to ignore There’s so much trouble And there’s so much fire I’ve been weary And I’ve been trying To keep above water and Keep above lying down It takes a train sometimes to pull me out And I dont have the energy I don’t have the stamina To keep on fighting But I’ll keep on fighting I’ll do it. Even at the darkest times When I feel I’m cracking in two There’s never a day that goes by Where I don’t think of you Wonder how you’re doing Wonder where you sleep at night If I’ll ever see you again You were both a brother and a father to me You were my whole family It’s a struggle to keep it all together Pretend that I’m holding too Say that I’m here now and that it will be over soon If I’ve got to live like this Wonder what I’ll wake up to Wonder if I’ll wake up to You were both a father and a brother to me You were my whole family
2.
Crossword 03:03
Angus carried my bike up the stairs As I stood at the bottom and I’m not sure if I just stared Or if I thanked him There’s a high chance that I’m feeling broken hearted Angus packed my suitcase for me As I felt quite stressed out Since I’ve lost Calliope I can’t get a breath out And I’ve heard my father’s angry I haven’t emailed But I feel so conflicted Because we haven’t spoken in sixteen years!! We haven’t spoken in sixteen years! I just sit and do the crossword But, I’m feeling guilty There are so many books to read And Ella’s whimpering Should I go for a bike ride or should we walk I am trying not to live my life based on shoulds Being an extra in Caleb’s show Is my big acting break And I fell in love again But I don’t feel the joy it takes Because I’ve heard he’s sleeping in the basement Still I feel so conflicted I met my father by the sea Yet, I feel so conflicted Because you had nothing to say to me You had nothing to say to me Angus managed the recipe job But, I miss the way we joked And feel like a slob There’s a frog inside my throat And if someday you wake up down there Take me out to see a film Court me like you weren’t my lover Since the beginning I want to feel ecstasy Still I miss the softness of your skin But, I feel so conflicted Because we hadn’t met in sixteen years And you had nothing to say to me I always thought you would be there I always thought you would be there
3.
A Star 03:48
Do you think tomorrow You could take me out like I could be a star, Like I could be a star? Do you like the way I Catalyze how you feel In the morning I’ve been out I’ve been like Bobbi’s raining tears You think I’m gonna die like this You think I’m gonna keel As I age, I realize I have less patience for you Someone came into the shop yesterday Had a smile like yours and I wanted to cry And tell him to get the fuck out And tell me Why’d you go Is it worth all the trouble?
4.
I wake up and eat leftover Thai food Wearing Annie’s shoes I can’t feel anything inside me And so I’m acting cool I fell asleep with the heat on my back Soft, contained and small Sometimes I picture it is Ella And her weight contains it all But, every night a part of me feels sad that she’s a dog She’d stare ahead blankly and wonder why if I should try to call She’d wonder why my voice were there at all But, i feel done with being someone You think you can talk through When i sit and think about it I wonder why i’m here at all
5.
Orange Tree 03:26
Robin said stay in your hole Then what should I do about him I’m sorry I didn’t show At my surprise party Rumi died last week I lost two dogs in two months And my brother won’t speak He’s shaking head to toe, I’ve heard Robin wants to eat, lay down next to me I have never been so fucked up In my family, just my mom and me I fell asleep and dreamed in Econ Robin said her notes Mix with her dreams in class I can’t do my work I’m busy playing Words with Friends I haven’t breathed weeks And I don’t want to about it Joey said people screamed When they saw her eating with them I can’t help but think, This is kind of sad Billy’s losing his apartment And that orange tree Means so much to me I can’t think of it being cut down Maybe I’m asleep Lay down next to me I will never be so fucked up Leave the orange tree Robin said that she Liked my pants today I feel fucked up I feel fucked up I feel fucked up I feel fucked up I feel fucked
6.
If you are addictive Are you then an addict? Curled up in the attic or If you want a closet on a hanger Are they gonna try you On like a jacket and Button up your seams like stones Make you feel used up and left alone Like you’re a spectacle and i will Watch you be half hearted Answering their questions bejeweled Like they’re all artist making offerings Dialogue and lacquer And being like an actor Glean your teeth your teeth about their songs And though i might be stupid I still can be an artist I can be an artist if i say so And you can’t do nothing about it No dialogue in congress if i Squint and walk away you’ll see the Brilliance beneath my pout I think you’re still wasting all my time somehow Still the only thing that i can write is about you Losing all my talent Cooped up in the attic Because i don’t ever practice and I don’t want to Draped in all my favorites I’m losing all my talent now With nobody to stand around With nobody to stand around
7.
Alt. Lena 04:46
Lena loves chocolate milk and sex And she loves boobs and fire and swimming Drinking drinks on hot days Lena loves traveling around Being an independent lover sipping beer during heat waves She watched us from the neighbors balcony Deciding, we don’t know what we are doing, We might as well not know all together When at the club she turns and smiles at me Then we made out three together, feeling all three tongues at once I’d follow her like a dog, in Berlin or Greece She will ask us silly questions, We create a mental mega bed Lena loves chocolate milk and sex And she loves boobs and fire and swimming Drinking drinks on hot days Lena loves traveling around Being an independent lover sipping beer during heat waves Landing hard from an airplane on the street Lena smiles and takes my hand, spraying a can of beer over me We take our tops off as we dance into the sea I remember quite the conversation before I became a tequila heap Chain smoking cigarettes, she paints a pretty scene I ate a whole baking sheet of gluten, But I’m feeling quite healthy Lena loves chocolate milk and sex And she loves boobs and fire and swimming Drinking drinks on hot days When I divulged I’d meet my dad For the first in well over a decade, Lena’s sweet smile grew And she told that I was brave Now I am traveling around Being an independent lover Trying to face my fears and Drink cold drinks on hot days And when we shouted at the moon Our intentions for what’s to come, I became a full flower, Lena said I was brave And when we shouted at the moon Our intentions for what’s to come, I became a full flower, Lena said I was brave

about

Is there a container big enough to hold grief, in all its vastness? Maya Bon, the artist behind Babehoven, built the Nastavi, Calliope EP after a cascade of losses, a vessel into which she poured two years of heartache, humor, and rage, then the growth that bookended these cataclysms. Evocative of Arthur Russell’s Love is Overtaking Me or Julia Jacklin’s Crushing, it balances meticulously between the universality of emotion and the particulars that crack you open—barefoot eating Thai food alone in a morning kitchen, or the memory of Calliope, a beloved family dog and the EP’s namesake. There is no containing grief, but Nastavi, Calliope lets us gaze into a fragment of it like a broken mirror—a sharp, incisive revelation.

credits

released July 9, 2021

Lyrics and song by Maya Bon. Co-produced with Ryan Albert. Recorded and Mixed by Ryan Albert. Mastered by Greg Obis of Chicago Mastering Service. Album art by Saskia and Hannah Krut-Powell.

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BABEHOVEN Hudson, New York

Since starting Babehoven in Portland, Oregon in 2017, Maya Bon has shown herself to be a gifted heart-on-sleeve songwriter, using music to peel back the layers of her own experiences—sometimes sad, sometimes surreal, always vividly rendered—to reveal universal emotional truths hidden in the most intimately personal of details.

Booking: msandrin@tourpeachy.com
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